First of all, the title implies incest, and that’s not what that show is about, but it’s still gross. Secondly, the presence of relatives doesn’t make the show more interesting or fun, just awkward. It doesn’t add anything to the dating show landscape. Watch Love Island instead. If you go on The Ultimatum to begin with, there is a problem in your relationship and maybe you should address it in counseling instead of on TV. Sorry for being judgy, but nobody on this show seems happy to be there! It’s just too messy to be enjoyable as a viewer and the contestants are too hard to root for. It might be your thing if you enjoy slow crashes or crying puppies. This show is capital H horny, you guys. So horny, in fact, that contestants will lose out on thousands of dollars instead of being celibate for a few weeks. It definitely prioritizes physical attraction over a deeper connection, so it lands in the shallow end of the dating show pool. The contestants are also just…not the greatest. For example: In Season 1 you had Haley, who didn’t know what language her tattoo was in, and Matthew, a self-proclaimed “deep thinker” who joked about “spreading [his] seed and rolling the dice of [his] genetic build with different women and races around the world.” Charming. Desiree Burch is great as the narrator, though. Why would any couple ever go on Temptation Island? You’re practically begging for your relationship to be ruined. It’s admittedly interesting as a social experiment, and some of the couples even grow from the experience, but there are better ways to test the strength of a relationship. The premise promises and delivers a ton of drama, but it’s just not very fun. It’s hard to believe that nobody came up with something like this sooner. “Astrological matchmaking” seems like fertile ground for a dating show to mine. That said, the fact that these couples have to decide if they’re ready to GET MARRIED at the end of five weeks makes it hard to believe that any of them are gonna last. There’s something admittedly romantic about the “written in the stars” aspect of it all, but this show borrows too many elements from other shows (Love Island, The Bachelor, Love is Blind) that are significantly more entertaining. Are You The One? has things in common with a lot of the other shows on this list, but the sum of its parts doesn’t add up to a particularly interesting program. And that’s a shame, because it’s the only show on this list to feature LGBTQ contestants — embarrassing for the year 2023. It’s on MTV, which means it’s a bit more scandalous than The Bachelor/Bachelorette on ABC but not as much as all of the shows on Netflix. This show is almost more of a documentary series than a reality dating show, since it just televises something that frequently happens in real life. It’s really interesting to learn the stories behind each couple and the show seems to prioritize realism over drama. That’s not to say there aren’t moments that seem scripted, and there’s certainly no shortage of drama. Big Ed alone has been the subject of so many memes. Part of the fun of FBoy Island is that it often feels like a parody of a dating show when you’re watching it. Technically, only the FBoys are there for the wrong reasons, but you get the sense that everyone is there for a good time and a shot at $100,000. Nobody seems too worried about finding love, which in turn leaves a smaller chance of emotional devastation. However, all of the lying from the FBoys is exhausting, and you kind of feel bad for the three women who get wrapped up in their nonsense. The show was just canceled by HBO Max, but I hope Nikki Glaser finds another dating show to host soon because she is excellent at it. Single’s Inferno is a little bit of Bachelor in Paradise mixed with a little bit of (mild) Survivor. The contestants are using each other to get out of the Inferno, but some of them manage to make genuine connections, and there’s a slow burn quality to these relationships that’s a nice change from other shows. If you live for messy dating show drama, it might not be for you because there’s not too much chaos here. But otherwise, it’s perfectly pleasant viewing. The Bachelor franchise is an American television institution at this point, and there’s nothing quite like the soap opera levels of drama it brings into our living rooms. That said, there’s something icky about the power dynamic of one person having all the choosing power over a group of romantic hopefuls. The show has also faced a ton of criticism over the years for lack of racial diversity among the leads and contestants and over-manipulation from the producers. Also, the overall success rate of these couples is abysmal. In theory, Love is Blind has a super interesting premise, the rare dating show that could bring something unique to a saturated genre. In practice, however, the results are chaotic to the point of sadness. Season 1 had two happily ever afters in Lauren and Cameron and Amber and Matt, but every subsequent season has been kinda tragic. None of the Season 2 couples are still together and we were subjected to Shake. Season 3 was rough for everyone except Alexa and Brennon. Zanab and Cole in particular highlighted the show’s failure to set any of these couples up for success — unlike Married at First Sight, Love is Blind doesn’t provide these whirlwind couples with any support or counseling. The only advice they ever get is from the Lacheys, my god. Married at First Sight finds the right balance between entertainment and romance. There’s plenty of mess — starting with the fact that the couples MEET ON THEIR LITERAL WEDDING DAY — but not so much that you feel like you’re watching a fiery car crash. It’s also got a decent success rate, with 15 couples still together out of the 59 matches that have been made. Plus, it’s the only show on this list that features counseling, which is an invaluable resource for these new couples. The Bachelorette has the exact same shortcomings as The Bachelor, but it also has more positives so it gets a higher ranking. It all boils down to the leads. The male leads of The Bachelor tend to be a bit, dare I say, bland? Sorry. On the other hand, the line-up of Bachelorettes have a lot of personality that makes you root for them, even when they make chaotic decisions like Claire Crawley. They also tend to have no patience for male nonsense, and it’s fun to see them cut some of the men down when they deserve it. A lot of the joy of watching Love Island comes from narrator Iain Stirling, whose biting commentary and Scottish accent often call out exactly how ridiculous these shows are. The American version that aired on CBS was more filtered than the original UK show (and suffered from a lack of Iain Stirling), but the newest season on Peacock fixed that and gave us the show we know and love: hot singles, completing pointless tasks and playing emotional chess with each other. It gets bonus points for not putting marriage on the table. Bachelor in Paradise doesn’t pit the contestants against each other for the affection of one person and instead has the group couple up freely, a change that has probably (definitely) contributed to it having the highest success rate of the Bachelor franchise. There’s still drama, and there are still hot people on a beach, but the contestants are more realistic about their expectations and can be more honest because they’re not as worried about impressing one specific person.
